All or Nothing

Human beings are hardly rational, and here in lies our funny tendency...we like to go for broke, we like to have things in totality, or we won't have anything at all.

To an outsider it may seem queer, but neither years of education not bitter face-offs with reality seem to temper our mindset. We tend to make the same mistakes over and over again. I recall a funny incident. I was very young then, very raw, and very instinctual. I had a quarrel with my kid sister, and insisted she show more respect towards me by addressing me as "Aap" in place of "Tu". After much bickering, she agreed to address me as "Tum", which, as I think of it now, is acceptable any day. But, I wouldn't have any of it then, and in my own silly, arrogant, haughty and cute way, said - " Dont even call me "Tum" if you don't think its worth it!". Both of us knew that our words didn't reflect the exact way we feel for each other. But alas! Things have a way of spiralling out of control.

Any given day, a robot would have made the right decision. Or for that matter, any other day, I would have made the right decision too. But somehow, in the heat of the moment, on the cusp of time, one doesn't. Little nothings assume gargantuan proportions, and the work of a lifetime is put on a wager, and as is the case most times, the bet is lost.....and the heart feels empty.